I’ve Matured…a Little

Man have I had some regrettable behavior in my past. Nothing like arson or murder or anything, but regrettable nonetheless.

But I think I’ve finally started to mature. I’ve….softened so to speak. But not before some moments I wish had never happened.

There was the one time I freaked out on my neighbor when he wouldn’t stop moving my garbage can from the curb to the actual street. And what made it even more infuriating was that it wasn’t just my garbage can. He walked around the small horseshoe development I lived in at the time and moved EVERYBODY’s garbage can. Something about the garbage trucks having easier access if the cans were in the actual street.

I should mention, for a little context, I found him in my front yard one afternoon kneeling down around a tree, my tree, pulling the few weeds he could find. This confirmed what I’d long suspected but couldn’t prove: The man had way too much time on his hands.

So…letting my emotions get the better of me one evening, and wanting to prove once and for all that it was, in fact, my garbage and my can, I lowered myself to an embarrassing level of pettiness and rage. 

That’s right. For what could’ve been 20 straight minutes, but was more likely 3 or 4, I delivered what could only be described as an incoherent, babbling, spitting string of profanity that would make my grandmother ashamed.

The neighbor responded with a formidable verbal assault of his own, as the other neighbors started to take notice of what was happening; two grown ass men arguing over the fact that one of them wouldn’t keep his hands off the other one’s garbage can.

There are numerous other examples involving e-mails and, of course, social media, but I don’t feel the need to incriminate myself further. Hopefully you get the point. 

But I think I’ve made significant strides in how I deal with the anger and frustration when it comes to situations like these. 

I can’t remember the last time I flipped someone off in traffic, for instance. Now I mostly keep my fingers to myself, and the mere thought of reacting in such a way is, I don’t know, immature? Low brow, perhaps? Regardless, it no longer seems appropriate for a man of 54 years of age to react in such a way and be ok with it. I no longer want to be, “that guy.”

There will always be situations like intrusive neighbors, aggressive drivers, or people who simply get on my nerves. In a world of 7+ billion people, I’m going to dislike a few hundred million of them, at least. And I’m ok with that.

The important realization I’ve made though is how I handle these frustrations and how I handle other people in general, matters. Reacting with calmness and a level head is always more admirable than the alternative. 

Have a calm and peaceful week everybody,

Rick

4 thoughts on “I’ve Matured…a Little

  1. Great post Rick.

    Totally understandable that you would vent.
    I’ve been there too, mostly at work.
    It’s odd, feeling the words pouring out, feeling like you’re observing rather than participating.
    Wanting to make yourself shut up and yet enjoying the sense of discomfort in yourself and those enduring your diatribe.
    (I am speaking of myself right now).

    Since finally biting the bullet and learning to meditate, I have learnt to stop opening my mouth, when I know I am about to unleash. Meditation doesn’t stop me from wanting to say shit things, it just helps me to not actually say them.

    As my slightly younger partner notes, I’m just a ‘funny old man’ and ‘older people lose their filter’.
    Meditation stops me from responding inappropriately, even though it feels like the appropriate thing to do.

    Thanks for your great words,
    Shaun

    Like

    1. Hey Shaun. Yes. That feeling of “who is this guy?” And then later snapping out of it and regretting it. I’m getting MUCH better but still need to work on self inflicted stress.
      Glad meditation has made things better for you personally. I’ve started running again, albeit much slower, but I feel calmer after. And omg yeah my wife says I’m the grouchy old man already. I really am an optimist but short term I can be easily annoyed…and annoying.
      Well, chin up! Always something to improve on!
      Have a great weekend!

      Like

    1. Thanks for sharing and linking. Always appreciate the support.

      Like

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